Unspoken sadness

[Totto]

I’m sad in an unspoken way. It is like grieving over something unknown but the feelings are all real.
I am just so so sad and nobody can really help me feel good again.

Something unknown arises from the deep. I start to see the life around me and it hurts. All the strategic games, all the lies and all of the charades. It dawns on me and it really hurts. What hurts the most is that I have been a part of it, both as an active and as a passive participant.

Life is up to me to change and peace in every smaller or larger way will not come by itself - it needs to be created. It can’t be pushed on anybody or anything - it needs to be created from ourselves and to be nurtured into calmness.

If I dont understand I need to ask, If I condemn the action I condemn myself. I need to understand that there really is a difference in disagreeing and condemning. I need to let my spirit speak so I can help myself understand.

There is som much I dont understand and life in itself is often a long learning and healing prosess that can take me anywhere. If I create - do I create from myself or do I feed on, or let myself be influenced by others? One question with so many answers.

My sadness always tells me it is time to rest and let myself heal and understand - my spirit talks to me in the ways it can. If I dont give myself the time to understand - how can I take responsibility for my life? If ignorance where my ‘prime’, will I ever be the one I really am?

Sadness tells a story equally important to our joy - if we only dare to sit down, feel and listen..

[Randi Kirkebø]

Hei Totto!Fine selverkjennelser.Du skriver at det som gjør mest vondt er at du er selv medspiller.Det samme har jeg og følt som en sårhet,mang en gang. Og velger vi å ignorere slikt,er det og et valg.Da lever man videre på en noe kunstig måte bare...!?
Og det som slo meg i det du skriver, er at tristhet forteller en historie,likeverdig med vår glede.Så fint.Dette har jeg følt selv på kroppen i det siste.Og det er så viktig.Vi kan bare sette oss å lytte og føle.
Vi kommer ut av våre selvpålagte fengsler på denne eneste måten,ved å pleie vårt indre barn...som voksne og ansvarlige,med vår villighet og tillit til oss selv.

Uenighet, og å dømme er like ulikt som natt og dag.